


Reason

by JustJasper



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-09
Updated: 2012-02-09
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJasper/pseuds/JustJasper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica-focus in the aftermath of Haley's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reason

Aaron was a battered mess, and she came so close to adding another injury to his face; it was all she could do, standing in the hospital hallway to stop herself launching herself at him and attacking him, scratching at his face and tearing at his flesh and screaming at him that it was his fault.  
  
But she stopped herself, because even through the anger, and the resentment, and the grief that was manifesting like two hands punched through her chest and trying to pull apart her ribcage, she knew it wasn’t his fault. Wheels had been set in motion that were beyond Aaron’s control, things he could have changed and things that his actions made no difference to.  
  
And even, she reasoned to herself as she sat on her sofa with a sleeping Jack curled in her lap, if it was Aaron’s fault in any way, he didn’t deserve it. Haley had been his world, his love, even through a divorce that Jessica was sure might have actually saved their relationship in the end.   
  
No reasoning made it better, and she wasn’t sure that if she didn’t have to keep quiet and still for Jack that she wouldn’t be a sobbing heap on the floor. Some nights she’d imagined this, but she had imagined holding her sister and her nephew while they cried because it had been Aaron that had been the casualty of his job. She couldn’t bear to blame his job entirely, the job that she’d always found more noble and fascinating that she’d let on with Haley, knowing full well the toll it took on her, because it was so intrinsically him that calling it the cause of her sister’s death was akin to laying the blame right at his feet.  
  
Jack snuffled in his sleep and Jessica realised she was crying again, and instead of wiping at her eyes and wondering if it was healthy for Jack to see people hiding their pain, she leaned back into the sofa and let the tears come, pulling a little sob with them. Haley was gone, her sister was gone, and there wasn’t a single reason why that could make it any easier to bear.


End file.
